No Boundaries

Assalamualaikum. I have once came across some good words on Tumblr, which sound like this:

"You thought the storm, the ocean, the fear, the sadness, the mistakes, the loss, the brokenness was all bad for you. But really it was only a means. It was all a vehicle to make you seek Him. To bring you back. To bring you back to completion, to happiness, to life. To bring you back to where you began. To bring you back to all that you really seek. To bring you back to Him." [Yasmin Mogahed]

And:

"There are times when everyone experiences heartbreak. It could be the betrayal of your spouse, a friend that hurts your feelings or a family member that cuts ties with you. It’s crucial to be strong through this difficult test and realize that there is wisdom that you can learn in the process.
Each time your heart breaks you become less attached to others which leads you to search for comfort in your creator. See this hurt as a reminder that no one cares for you the way your creator does and as long as you have Him you are NEVER ALONE!" [Halel Banani (via islamicrays)]

Rather than letting Tumblr steals my time for nothing, I follow some religious blogs so that my home will be filled with endless reminders and so that my time will not go to waste. Alhamdulillah some posts are really good that I feel consoled while scrolling beautiful reminders thus preventing me from going astray if I'm emotional or having a storm of endless bad thoughts.

Well, we all need reminders (:

I think 2015 has been beautiful (please count how many times I have used this word) despite I have received quite a few numbers of sad news. My cousin passed away in May due to cancer, a second degree cousin passed away last month due to cancer, my grandfather just passed away last Sunday (8/11/15) due to pulmonary embolism, and my life is a bit in chaos because I failed few exams in my previous semester 4. Alhamdulillah I am now in my semester 5 with one paper left to be passed which I will sit for in January 2016 before I am eligible to proceed to semester 6 which is a clinical semester. I appreciate all prayers that my beloved family and friends have gave me and I honestly feel that I will not come this far if not because of those kind prayers, so really, I thank all of you and will always be thankful for your support.

And I need more prayers, firmer motivation and determination because my final examinations for this semester is approaching fast. InsyaAllah I will sit my final from 7 until 12 December 2015, carrying one module to next semester because we are not allowed to sit for the paper this semester. Apart from that I really need to pass that one more supplemental examination so guys, please pray for me.

Life has been tough for me, but I will consider it beautiful still, because I am alive and healthy.
Alhamdulillah.

May Allah help me to go through these tests well and successfully,
and may He help me to always see things from the brighter side.

And dear myself,
NO MATTER HOW UNFORTUNATE YOU THINK YOU ARE,
PLEASE REALIZE AND ALWAYS REMEMBER TO BE THANKFUL TO GOD OF HOW FORTUNATE YOU ACTUALLY ARE.

Allahumma rabbi yassir, wala tu'assir, rabbi tammim bilkhair, amin.

I will try to set no boundaries for patience and happiness, because this life that Allah lends me is only once. It is also only once that I have attempt to prepare for my life in the HereAfter. Wishing everyone a good life and may we will always be on His right path, may the path we tread is the path that seeks His Jannah, amin.

Late Night Thoughts

I think, everyone thinks a lot. Either of craps or of greats, people think. People ponder. People think over. People regret. People do things. And regret. Do things again. And feel great. Well at least these apply to me.

Over days I realized that I actually like talking. No no, I mean I've realized this long time ago. I talk A LOT like A LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT. What's new is, I like to talk positive things to people. I like to inspire people. I like to give my positive two cents to them and make them feel good, make them feel better. Even though inside my heart I have thousand sadness and heartbreaks contained, I still like the idea of me being the one who gives people a new hope. Because seeing them being better actually inspires me to become better. When they give up hope, and then learn to give hope some space again so that good things can come; I actually want to do the same thing.

Nevertheless sometimes I feel sick about the society, about how judgmental people can be, how prejudice they react, a part of me still hopes that the society can change to a healthy society. Full of positivity.

We hate to be judged, but do we realize that we actually kinda are kinda judgmental, naturally? We can't deny first impression. We will always have thoughts crossing our minds.

We ourselves are the enemies.
Our minds are so beautiful, and so what Islam teaches us.
Why do you want to be bad so bad, people.
Husnudzon, people.
The past lives in the past.
We are living for the future.
If Allah has said that by repenting we can get His forgiveness,
who are we to deny such things amongst ourselves?

Dear heart,
Please be stronger,
Let go of the past,
No matter how it still hurts,
You have to move on.
Let people be the mediocre,
But you, dear heart,
Together let's be a miracle.
InsyaAllah.

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Picking myself up (:

Can't really recall how did I find writing and venting help me feel at ease.
And despite knowing such fact of myself,
I leave this habit out of my routine.
Rasa macam nak marah dekat diri sendiri.

I actually don't wanna write an useless post so that's why I don't really write here,
unless it's going to be beneficial to my readers.
But this time I can't bear this anymore.

Currently I have finished my fourth semester,
and I am in Terengganu, living my semester break which started on 15/5/15 and hopefully,
will end in September. So that's quite a long break right...
Given the fact that if I pass every paper for my fourth semester. Amin.
Doakan tauuuu.

And during my study break hari tu, thousand of plans were drafted in my head,
and suddenly right now, SEMUA HILANG OMG GERAMNYA T.T
Mood semua hilang kelaut aaaa nak nangis. I really wanna fill my semester break
with a lot of useful and meaningful actions and doings tapi sekarang malas ya ampun.
I run house chores lepas tu mereput. This is not what I was planning to do :'(
It feels great to be able to do some of house chores, so mom can rest a bit.
And in between doing these works, nak lah menjahit ke apa en,
tapi ya Allah, baring je kerja si Sarah ni.
I have like more than 10 fiction and non-fiction books that I have bought and I haven't finished reading them.
Menjahit. I love sewing. Kain dah ada. Dah buat rough measurement. Potong.
Lepas potong kain, kain itu terbiar terpotong di atas meja dengan harapan
ia akan dijahit automatically oleh sewing machine hahaha I hate my current self.

Talk about semangat. You know iman pun turun naik,
haruslah semangat lagi haru graf penurunan dan kenaikannya kan?
I believe everyone is the same. We all have ups and downs.
Kita ada masa yang kita semangat gila-gila and
tiba2 semangat tu terbang pergi China tak ajak kita
lalu tinggallah kita bersendirian tanpa semangat.

I can be very spirited at one time lepastu lembik tetiba.
But but, we are the ones who need to pick ourselves up because if not, who else will?
Learn to know yourself.
Learn about yourself.
Don't push yourself too hard and give yourself some time.
Make yourself the best motivator to your own mind and heart.
And don't forget to reward yourself when you think you deserve one.

So sebenarnya today I was feeling very frustrated with myself that I am so lazy and
that I have no mood to do anything apart from doing house chores,
then I thought of blogging. I once loved blogging because I enjoy writing and ranting and venting,
but I found it hard to fit writing in my daily routine so I kinda forgot about it & left it behind,
and thought I could live normally without venting,
and look...........I made my way to write this jugak at last.

Maybe because I've let some feelings out so yeah, I feel better right now ;)))
Looking forward to productive days ahead!

Senyumlah, Hati.

Mungkin gelisah ini tanda aku sudah banyak lupa akan Dia,
Mungkin galau ini tanda aku sudah kurang mengadu pada Dia,
Duhai hati, usah bermuram tatkala Dia masih sudi memberimu ujian,
kerana sudah Dia berkalam, yang Dia sayang itu Dia berikan dugaan,
mana mungkin mengaku diri beriman, tetapi tiada didatangkan sedikit ujian.

Qalbi, senyumlah.

Do the people think that they will be left to say, "We believe" and they will not be tried? (29:2)

Life Lesson #2

In life, we always forget how blessed we are, actually.

We tend to forget how fortunate we are, actually.

We tend to whine every time we have to go through challenges and ordeals,

not realizing some people are actually suffering harder, even to breathe.

We tend to complain about petty and small things,

not realizing there are still many who are less fortunate than us.

We tend to grouse about life,

while some people are breathing their last.

O Lord, please forgive us and place us among the grateful ones.

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Life Lesson #1

In life, bad things happen.

Either we want it or not.

Even if we try to avoid it.

We make mistakes. Everyone does.

We go off limits sometimes.

We forget the rules and cross the line.

We end up being lost, and having nobody but Him.

Everyone starts to look away.

Everyone starts to turn their backs on us.

Everyone loses their trusts in us.

Everyone gives that disgusting look.

Let’s not be sad.

Let’s not let them define us.

Let’s be stronger.

Let’s try another path and try harder to be better.

Because the only thing that matters is Him. Just try for the sake of Him.

And for the sake of your beloved ones.

Commiting mistakes is unavoidable. To fall is inevitable.

And it’s our choice to stand up and rise again. Or to just lay down and cry over the past.

Our past cannot be changed. The only thing that is changeable at the moment is your future.

Repent, and try to change for better.

Your past doesn’t define your future.

Do not let the ignorant society stop you from being better.

Do not let them hurt you.

Rise, and shine.

-uwmaisarah_080814-

Hold My Hands, We are in This Together.

Assalamualaikum & may peace be upon all of us.
I know, I know. It's been ages since the last time I wrote here.
Well, there's so much to tell,
there's so much on my mind but I can't literally translate all of these into words.
So till today they are nicely kept within my cupboard of memories.

Frankly speaking, I don't know what to write.
But I feel like writing.
You know, girls, or should I say, women, convey their minds through words?
They communicate to feel better.
They can't just sit down and stay there to feel better.
And I was once passionate enough about blogging.
Writing seems to be somewhat a healing therapy for me.
When I don't write, I feel different from usual.
Here I am not saying that I am being problematic,
I just feel like I am not me.
The 'me' I used to be seems gone, or hiding somewhere.

Maybe I should pour some feelings out.
Some, or maybe a lil' bit less than some.
As some of you might have known, it's been quite a rough year for me.
Almost a year. Unexpected things happened.
Well, I really guess that nobody really have predicted those.

Things seem to be better nowadays,
strength to be a bit thicker than it was few months back,
faith seems to be a bit stronger.
Time is a great healer, they say.

I think a year is not enough to measure how much time heals things.

When you are not as glorious as you were,
the present day seems to be gloomier than ever.
I was knocked down.
And I shall rise and shine again, insyaAllah.

Even though I've wasted my one year,
it doesn't mean I have to add more in the 'waste/credit' side of my account.
What's done is done.
I really cannot undo those, even though I regret it so much.
In life, lessons are learnt after we made mistakes.
This is not a school where teachers teach you lessons before you are being tested.
This is life, where tests are given prior to the lessons.

So people, when life knocks you down,
you really need to get up. Seize whatever chance you still have.
Grab every single opportunity that's still there.
Show 'em what you really got.
I know, we are fragile. I am indeed tremendously fragile.
But let's not make that as an excuse. There's more waiting in the future.
We are growing. Life won't be easier. Challenges won't be any less easier.

Even though there are some who will insult you,
who will be happy for your ordeals and failures,
fear them not. Be happy.
Why?
At least you are not the one who hurts others.
At least you are on the good side.
When they tell the public of false stories, fear them not as well.
Why?
Because it's The Almighty who knows everything.
Even though they say that you're having difficult times as a punishment for what you've done,
don't feel so. Why?
Have Allah not said in the Quran?

Do people think that they will be left alone because they say: "We believe," and will not be tested. (al-Ankabut: 2)

He will test us.
You take one step closer to Him,
He'll be 10 steps closer to you.
Who are they to be the judge?
Really, what have we done towards them, actually?
Dunya are really full of bad people who wears angels' masks.
May our paths are avoided from crossing over with their paths.
May Allah protect us.

May Allah bless. May Allah forgive.
Berani kerana benar. Takut kerana salah.
Don't be afraid if you're not as loud as the false speaker,
because eventually, yang hak akan menang. Itu janji Allah.
Whether in this short life, or in the long Hereafter :)

Penulisan untuk memberi peringatan buat diri sendiri yang sering leka dan terbuai dalam kelalaian.
Semoga memberi inspirasi buat mereka yang jatuh, dan mereka yang dianiaya.
Tersungkur takpe, kita bangun. Jangan tersungkur dan terus berdengkur ;)
I'm with you, He is with us, believers.

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