Saturday, March 4, 2017

A Dot to Long Hiatus

Assalamualaikum! God, I must tell you this feels VERY WEIRD. My last entry was in March last year and after almost 12 months of silence, I've decided to write again. Why? 
Before registering into UniSZA I tried to google some info abt my future uni & course (at that time), despite having a dad who works there. I mean, he's a worker, I'm gonna be a student so our situation differs lol sarah's logic haha. To my disappointment, I found almost nothing! Wargh gegham rasa nak gigit bantal hahahahaha AND THEENN recently our FSK website, I think according to my dad almost every website fakulti UniSZA went down, not sure why so macam I waited la for FSK website to make a comeback en sebab the last time I visited my faculty's site, there wasn't any good info abt our programme (Idk why I was still checking even though I hv registered) but the thing is, after website dah siap fix and al, ada la like update such as dulu ada 3 schools je now dah ada 4 schools which are, School of Diagnostics & Biomedicine, School of Nutrition & Dietetics, School of Rehabilitation Science and the newest is School of Medical Imaging but daaaa, still no info pasal Medical Imaging??? WHAAATTTT so macam membara-bara semangat aku nak bebel pasal course aku ni tau dak urgh urgh (tengah tahan emosi) HAHAHAHA anyway it feels good to be back!
Oh by the way aku pioneer course aku kat UniSZA that's why I was searching for even a tiny bit of info abt Medical Imaging. And other public unis yang also ada Medical Imaging are UIA, UiTM, kot (degree). (Rectify me if you know this course exists at other uni ok untuk undergraduate level)
And after going through some of my posts in this blog, I decided to NOT discard my old posts, including posts about Perdana Uni. I feel like keeping them here, for me to actually see and feel, "Oh I really went through all these", "Those were real", yada yada, to set my feet back on the earth that the most real thing about living is, to live the moment. 
Recently, right after finishing my first semester at UniSZA, I had posted a kinda long post at Instagram and the thought of blogging again came to my mind but at that time I still rasa macam "oh takpelah", "biarlah", "zaman blogging dah berkubur", "for what", you know, all sorts of excuses and now, here I am, typing a post. Gonna revamp this blog, maybe B&W theme this time?

So okay guys, till my next rants, wassalam 


Wednesday, March 23, 2016

New Leaf

Probably some have heard, but a lot of you haven't; I am no longer the person whom I used to be. Oh let me paraphrase that. I am no longer doing what I've been doing for the past almost-4-years.
After all the struggles, the efforts, the time, the money invested, the nerve straining moments I have gone through, those finally meet their end. Gonna head to a new journey, not very soon though. Currently enjoying my free time doing whatever I want to do, lepaking w fam bam, friends, exploring gadgets. Doing what I didn't get to do when I was busy; designing, sewing, doodling. I believe what happened was all has been fated, ada hikmah and Allah is preparing me for the future; a better me, of course. I regret parting away with my friends but I know setiap pertemuan pasti ada perpisahan, it's just sad that's the way I had to face. But oh well, I know I am strong to face this hahahahahaha bajetnya. Aku cuma sedang belajar mensyukuri apa nikmat yang masih ada, sebelum Allah tarik balik semuanya daripada aku (: it's a wake up call actually. Sebelum ni tahu hakikat "nothing is ours" tapi bila satu dah kena tarik baru rasa macam "it really can happen". Tak, aku tak mengeluh. Aku bersyukur malahan. Aku percaya aku beruntung, insyaAllah, mungkin bukan sekarang. Mungkin sekarang aku merana tengok semua batch '93 dah nak graduate, dah praktikal, dah ada kerja, dah boleh sara hidup sendiri. Tapi aku percaya jalan aku unik, jalan aku lain, rezeki aku berbeza.
Bukan senang nak cekalkan hati, nak be strong untuk re-do degree, mula balik daripada awal, join batch lagi muda, sumpah lah bukan benda lekeh. Kau try rasa la dulu baru boleh cakap apa-apa. Tapi since benda ni dah jadi kat aku, aku kena lah kuat. Memang Tuhan bagi ujian sebab kita boleh face it kan (^^,)

Alhamdulillah 'ala kulli hal. It's been almost 2 months, and without endless supports from my family and friends, I cannot continue to be strong like what I feel rn. Alhamdulillah syukur Allah kurniakan aku support system yang sangat, sangat mantop, at least bagi aku. Ada parents yang sayang aku the way I am, siblings yang comel macam aku juga(eh?), kawan yang sangat positif dan menyokong in whatever situation I've been in. Sungguh tak terbalas jasa kalian kalau aku hitung, hanya mampu titip doa agar sentiasa dijaga Tuhan.
Dan aku mahu ucap tahniah untuk diri sendiri sebab mampu persevere dan teruskan tabah sampai nyawa terpisah, sebab tabah ni tak boleh mati di tengah jalan, perjalanan aku jauh lagi, dugaan ini tiada bertepian, tak setahun dua juga nak overcome segalanya, nak berjaya bukan sekejap.

Dan paling penting, orang yang berjaya bukanlah orang yang selalu berjaya, tetapi orang yang berjaya adalah mereka yang mampu bangkit setelah jatuh. Tak senang sebab dulu aku tak tahu erti gagal, dan setelah merasa ujian gagal itu, tak senang juga sebab mahu bangun itu bukan semudah percakapan, dan bila jatuh lagi, kau tahu the only way to go is only to go up and rise again (:

Buat mereka yang pernah lalui, sedang lalui apa yang aku rasa, ingat tau, inna ma'al'usri yusra (:
Teruskan ingat Tuhan dalam setiap langkahmu,
agar berjaya dalam rahmat, kalau diduga pun, masih Dia dengar setiap doa tulusmu.

Thursday, November 12, 2015

No Boundaries

Assalamualaikum. I have once came across some good words on Tumblr, which sound like this:

"You thought the storm, the ocean, the fear, the sadness, the mistakes, the loss, the brokenness was all bad for you. But really it was only a means. It was all a vehicle to make you seek Him. To bring you back. To bring you back to completion, to happiness, to life. To bring you back to where you began. To bring you back to all that you really seek. To bring you back to Him." [Yasmin Mogahed]


"There are times when everyone experiences heartbreak. It could be the betrayal of your spouse, a friend that hurts your feelings or a family member that cuts ties with you. It’s crucial to be strong through this difficult test and realize that there is wisdom that you can learn in the process.
Each time your heart breaks you become less attached to others which leads you to search for comfort in your creator. See this hurt as a reminder that no one cares for you the way your creator does and as long as you have Him you are NEVER ALONE!" [Halel Banani (via islamicrays)]

Rather than letting Tumblr steals my time for nothing, I follow some religious blogs so that my home will be filled with endless reminders and so that my time will not go to waste. Alhamdulillah some posts are really good that I feel consoled while scrolling beautiful reminders thus preventing me from going astray if I'm emotional or having a storm of endless bad thoughts.

Well, we all need reminders (:

I think 2015 has been beautiful (please count how many times I have used this word) despite I have received quite a few numbers of sad news. My cousin passed away in May due to cancer, a second degree cousin passed away last month due to cancer, my grandfather just passed away last Sunday (8/11/15) due to pulmonary embolism, and my life is a bit in chaos because I failed few exams in my previous semester 4. Alhamdulillah I am now in my semester 5 with one paper left to be passed which I will sit for in January 2016 before I am eligible to proceed to semester 6 which is a clinical semester. I appreciate all prayers that my beloved family and friends have gave me and I honestly feel that I will not come this far if not because of those kind prayers, so really, I thank all of you and will always be thankful for your support.

And I need more prayers, firmer motivation and determination because my final examinations for this semester is approaching fast. InsyaAllah I will sit my final from 7 until 12 December 2015, carrying one module to next semester because we are not allowed to sit for the paper this semester. Apart from that I really need to pass that one more supplemental examination so guys, please pray for me.

Life has been tough for me, but I will consider it beautiful still, because I am alive and healthy.

May Allah help me to go through these tests well and successfully,
and may He help me to always see things from the brighter side.

And dear myself,

Allahumma rabbi yassir, wala tu'assir, rabbi tammim bilkhair, amin.

I will try to set no boundaries for patience and happiness, because this life that Allah lends me is only once. It is also only once that I have attempt to prepare for my life in the HereAfter. Wishing everyone a good life and may we will always be on His right path, may the path we tread is the path that seeks His Jannah, amin.

Friday, August 21, 2015


Hi hello, this post is dedicated to everyone who has emailed me or anybody who has contacted me on WhatsApp but got no replies from me, I am sorry. My phone rosak so currently I can only receive text or phone call. Sadly to inform I nowadays check my email not as constant as I used to because I have no mood to do so, hence my late reply to you. And sebab takde mood jugak I kinda malas nak text, I am sorry. Now I've realized there's no use being such irresponsive, really sorry, I'll try to entertain each of you up to my best ability okay. So ask anything you want, email me for my contact details. Thank you and again I am sorry for any inconvenience caused. Have a good day ahead.