Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Lessons | Year 1

"It’s easy to say be patient in times of  trials but difficult to remain patient. Everything happens by the will of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. If you are going through a tough time then take a deep breath and say this shall too pass."

Assalamualaikum & hello everyone. 
I feel like making an entry for myself here, to remind me of what did I do wrong during this past one year hence setting better resolutions for the coming semester.

My first year in UniSZA was mediocre, nothing special happened. I was (am) still the laidback Sarah, would (will) only study a day before test/exam and I honestly don't want to regret later in 2020 so I hope my future self will be wiser and study earlier next semester.

Semester 1 and 2's final papers were different in the extent that the format of questions changed.
Previously during the first semester, (the essay questions consisted of 2 parts, short and long essays), we had choices to answer the essay questions e.g. answer 8 out of 10 short essay questions and 2 out of 4 long essay questions. This format helped a lot simply because you could leave out questions which you thought you would score the least, should you choose to answer them.

During the second semester, choices were not available and we had to answer all provided questions (short & long essay questions), which was a disadvantage if we were not prepared for certain topics (aku la tu). The fact that I couldn't answer even one essay question left me super devastated during my second semester final exam period. Walaupun satu je, (kadang2 dua), frustrated sangat because I know I am not in the position to afford losing any marks. (I aspire to score the fullest possible in any exam, dude this is my second time doing degree, memang la I nak all out. Takkan la nak jadi super stupid macam masa jawab exam paper medschool dulu?) ((I am mad at myself FYI))

And then, a few things came up during my study break and final exam period. I am not complaining but I am stating that things are really beyond our control and we ought to prepare back up plans, ALWAYS. In fact, I am thankful to have experienced such a chaotic study break haha (because I learnt a lot from it). Long story short my mom had to balik kampung because my grandmother was not in a good health (My grandma was hospitalized in 3 different hospitals before diagnosis of volvulus was reached. That was after vomiting for 3 weeks straight. She underwent a surgery & is better alhamdulillah). As the eldest, automatically I became suri rumah for a few days. And I was fasting (biasalah......bulan Syaaban kan lol). I actually dah planned so well for my study break, untuk habiskan all the syllabus during that one week period but then bila dah jadi suri rumah en, I siapkan house chores pastu I rehat macam takde final I seriously don't know what was on my mind haha penatlah agaknya. Plus I am inclined to study and focus better at night (habit lah kot) so exhausting la juga nak stay up and bangun awal pagi to prepare my siblings for school oh how do my mom bear these everyday routines :') then settle the laundry, masak. Notes memang I simpan je dalam bilik haha so basically I couldn't finish studying all the syllabus. I was just lucky that during week 14, semua subjek almost ada test (some were held during the previous week), so macam I studied dah once, at least. And I guess, besides God's help (this is the ultimate blessing la I tell you), that; studying for test, helped me a lot during exams.

Recalling back what happened during my first semester, I was quite disciplined during my study break (takde study break pun senanya, just my paper started a bit later than others). Before study break memang enjoy gila2. Masa study break tu I really ikut my study schedule because I was completing an order (sukadoodle) and deadline nak siapkan order masa tu was during exam, after paper apa tah (yeah I too am now wondering macam mana I was so confident that I could do the job masa I accepted and agreed w that order & arrangements), so I studied and doodled alternately and alhamdulillah doodle siap and exam pun okay.

And masa study break and exam period of semester 1, I was staying at hostel the whole time including weekends (normally weekends memang balik) so I was able to focus more on my studies. Masa sem 2 boleh kira dengan jari how many nights je I slept in hostel...masa study break and final exam tu separuh barang dah angkut balik haha.

So Sarah..to the future Sarah, specifically semester 3 & 4 Sarah, year 3 and year 4 Sarah also lol,
remember how worried you were after you flunked a question in Radiobiology and Radiation Protection paper. And, improve.
Remember how worried you were because A seemed to be impossible. It could really have been impossible if you do not change for the better.

(I don't wanna list out the detailed resolutions, that's not meant to be disclosed for public read :p)

I hope whenever I feel lazy in the future, I will come back and read this,
and I will remember how much time I have wasted failing medschool and dropping out,
and I will be reminded of how crucial it is to stay focused during these 3 more years.

It's when it is hard, believing in myself counts.
It's when the road seems to be long that I need to amplify my faith,
that I will reach the end of the destination and I don't want to merely reach the end,
I want to glorify the ending. InsyaAllah.



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